do centaur babies suckle from the horse nipples or the human nipples tho
Centaurs aren’t real. Do you understand that?
yes that is why i made a tumblr post about this instead of just asking a real centaur
I’m trying to figure out when “oh, it’s midnight” turned into “oh, it’s only midnight”
"I don’t wear makeup so I don’t have to waste like an hour in front of the mirror every morning hahahaha"
"open books not legs"
"why have tequila shots when you can have tea?"
"As always, late with Starbucks"
"modest is hottest"
"I’m not like those girls”
so today my ap art history teacher was teaching us about Hapshetsut the only female pharaoh and he was like “have you seen women they can pop out a baby and be like alright let’s go” and then he walked over to this guy and aimed his fist towards his balls and the guy flinched and held his crotch so he was like “men may be stronger but women are tougher” and then he said “so when someone tells you to grow a pair, they mean ovaries”
I have fruit polos and lollypops be jealous.
omg do many people not know what fruit polos are? they are heaven
In America, we call them lifesavers. They can be chewy or hard candy.
polos aren’t chewy and they also come in mint.
this week on: britan thinks its special
This week on america copies everything from Britain.
HOLD THE FUCK UP
"Luckily I have an ace up my sleeve!" I smirk and roll my sleeve up. A confused asexual rolls out, blinking in the sudden light.
remember that once in the late 70’s a face character for pooh at disneyland was accused of hitting a child in the face on accident and so the dude came back to court after the recess in the pooh costume and answering the questions as pooh and fucking danced in the courtroom in order to prove that the arms were too high up to hit the kid and he was acquitted within 20 minutes
That’s some Phoenix Wright shit right there, I swear
"…But if you ever found out I was having such fantasies, you’d pummel me to death." [x]